I am once again snuggled in with my dogs, wrapped up in a blanket reflecting.
So much has changed and yet so much has remained the same…
Last year, on this day, which is my birthday, I made a commitment to loving my body and the relationship I have with it, to recognize the miracle it is and all it does for me (in a blog I posted,“Who’s coming with me”).
I have come along way with this, it has been a battle, but I’ve started to plant my roots, which has allowed me to grow above the tree tops and see a new perspective.
What I have discovered from this commitment is that I truly want to be here on earth. I want to be living in this exact day and time. With all the chaos and beauty of change and evolution. I realize the magnificence in being a part of it all.
I have become fully aware of what Mother Earth provides for us everyday, the gift of life. The experience of physicality, of touch, sight, sound and smells. I realize the significance of duality, dark and light, because it allows me to discover new things. And from knowing what I do not want, I can discover what it is that I do, and have the passion and drive to create it.
This only happens if I allow myself to fully sift through contrast. It is what gives me texture and dynamic vision. It allows me to feel the richness of life and all the threads of harmony and discord. It creates a symphony of music, which is my life, to be discovered and played for others to witness.
I am beginning to recognize the abundance of life. The honor in being able to touch and experience other souls in their own form. When I look at people, I think, wow, look at their soul, it has a body, a body that allows them to create things, like love and pain and all that comes with this experience on Earth. I literally have been poking my boyfriend in true amazement that his soul is in his body. A soul that I can touch, feel, smell, see, hear and intuite what he is thinking.
It’s like witnessing a miracle in motion…
Hence, why I want to be here, why I have fallen more in love and appreciation with my body, because it allows all of this juicy experience to happen. I can feel the richness of each breath, the depth and life in it.
Breath is probably the most overlooked and taken for granted miracle that our bodies preform all day and night. In each breath we bring in our life force, our higher power, our consciousness. It is a cycle of life that constantly repeats. In each breathe is a new moment, in each breath I am reborn.
I tried to imagine what it would be like to pass on and leave this earthly body. To no longer need the human-ness and it’s functions to keep me alive as I merge into pure energy and consciousness. And immediately, it feels like heaven, lighter and transcendent, but, at the same time, I feel homesick for breath in my body. I feel homesick for the depth of touch, smell and sight. I feel homesick for the expansion of my lungs and diaphragm. I feel homesick for the feeling of touching my loved ones in their own bodies. I feel homesick for the dark and pain in my life, for I realize, it gave me so much worth living for, it created and shaped who I am and catapulted me on this very path that has helped me discover all of these things.
I can understand why souls wait in line to incarnate here, on this planet. It is a divinely orchestrated school yard of experience designed to help us step into the creators we are meant to be.
I realize many are afraid and confused about what is going on in the world right now. But if you can take a big step back and see the divine plan, it starts to make more sense. It doesn’t change the pain or fear you are feeling, but it does help to know that it’s ok to allow oneself to FEEL the experience.
For me this perspective has changed everything.
I used to always find myself looking up into the stars, feeling homesick for another world that made more sense, a world where little blue birds fly and I felt understood. I would live in this imagination, a place to escape to, or I would numb myself from uncomfortable experiences and hurt with booze, distractions or anything I could lay my hands on, I didn’t fully want to be here.
But now, NOW, I do…
I want to be firmly grounded in all of life experience, dark and light. I throw myself into learning and being stretched. I want to feel all of it and soak it up into my webbed cloak of life. I want to create…
There is a quote that really hits this home for me.
“Don’t be so heavenly minded that you are of no earthly good”
There is nothing wrong with being heavenly minded, in fact I encourage it, but what I have realized is that I am here to experience both Heaven AND Earth.
I believe that both can exist together.
So referring back to the beginning of this blog, when I said so much has changed but yet remained the same, I meant that my perspective has changed, I see things so much differently then I have before,
but, at the same time,
I realize, this perspective didn’t just appear suddenly, it has always been here, waiting for me to discover it in my own time,
and in that,
things have remained oh so beautifully the same…
Love and Light,