Love
I find myself so drawn to it. Like a crystal that grabs my attention and lures me in. Like it’s trying to tell me something very important in the most subtle and soft way, and if you aren’t giving it your fullest attention, you miss the message…. Then, you are on your own to try and understand what it’s telling you through experience.
And that’s exactly what I’ve done, I’ve missed the whispers from Love so I had to find out in my own way what it means to me.
This is what I’ve come to learn from my quest of Love so far in my life..
I’ve learned from family that it is something your bonded with and in your blood. Something that binds us all together, no matter the situation/tragedy, the Love and support is always there to the core.
I’ve found what Unconditional Love means to be an Auntie to my nieces and nephew(s, baby boy arriving late summer ) while watching my amazing brothers be Father’s and husbands.
I’ve learned from friendships what Love means. Love is a comradeship, a fun and uplifting feeling, a place where advice can be given and received. A place to share your deepest secrets and at the same time celebrate life.
I’ve learned Love from my pets, a true unwavering Unconditional nurturing Love. The kind you look forward to coming home to after a long day. No matter who you are and what you do their tail always wags in happiness to see you and if you feel sick there is nothing better than snuggles from your fur babies.
I’ve learned a lot about what Love is and ISN’T from romantic relationships. The heart break and heart filled kind. I got to the point that I knew so much about what Love isn’t, that when I did find Love it lured me in the most vulnerable way. Like I knew this was going to be good but at the same time it scared me to death. I knew that person could see right through me, where as others believed my BS and played along with my games/characters, only for me to be burned by it in the long run.
I’ve found the true test in romantic Love is keeping it unconditional. Otherwise it isn’t Love at all and it takes you on this crazy quest to make it be. Like trying to mold my partner into what I think I need from him when it really resides in how I show up and give it to myself first, in order to genuinely give/receive it.
Of course there are many more examples of Love but these are the key factors/relationships that have helped me learn about it.
But what about Love for myself?
We have been taught that Love resides outside of ourselves, and it’s our life long quest to “find” it. So we go on this journey to find love in some way, shape or form, all the while missing the most important piece of all…. Finding the Love that’s always been with in, and then having the courage to let it lead.
This kind of Love is the absolute most important! But yet seems the last to understand. It reminds me of Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz, she had to go on a journey away from herself down the yellow brick road to realize she had all the Love and power she needed inside herself the entire time.
All of my experiences about learning what Love is externally from the people in my life has lead me to find my own with in. Each time I allow myself to be cracked open from unconditional Love given, I find the more I am able to find it with in myself.
Slowly but ever so intensely and surely Love’s true presence has made its way back into my life. But in that I realize that it never left. I had it in me all along.
I recently read in a book about how Love is like the blue sky. When it gets gray and cloudy, it isn’t that the blue sky ever left or turned gray. It’s just that the clouds and fog came in to cover up it up, but the blue sky is still steadily there and it will never change. Meaning the fog and clouds in our lives will come and go, but Love is always there. If you can trust and know that these things will pass and look to see through the clouds you will find Love’s steady soft whispers are there to guide us back to our blue sky. The key is to believe and listen. Then the false perception of always searching for another climate (person, place or thing) to find that perfect blue sky subsides and you can just be, knowing Love hasn’t left your side. It is your anchor in this world.
As a child I frequently thought about the meaning of life, and I always knew it had to do with Love and having Love in your life. But I didn’t truly understand that most importantly it had to do with tuning into my own heart and allowing the gifts it holds to be created and shared. Love isn’t something we get and then try to keep, contain and lock in a sacred box. It’s here to expand, breathe, shine and be. It’s our way to freedom and the mysterious natural flow of life. It’s surrender and with that comes the magic and sparkle. It’s the only thing that is important. Because if I’m tuned into Love then I can’t be lead astray when the storm and clouds come because I’ll know how to connect to my blue sky. I will be able to give Love without expectations. I can trust that I am supported. I can show up authentically and my worth is not determined by if others give me love because I have the love to give to myself. The power in this realization can move mountains and that is only the beginning. I freed myself when I understood I am and always have been that steady blue sky and the only thing keeping me from Love was my own denial of it.
